Introduction: The Ten Secrets 1 -- 1 Obstacle Course: Secret One: Put the marriage first 9 -- 2 Ex Factor: Secret Two: Respect and support the child's relationship with the other parent 40 -- 3 Fade-Out Father: Secret Three: Remain a part of your children's lives. They need you 67 -- 4 Wicked Stepmother: Fact or Fiction? Secret Four: Love between stepmothers and stepchildren is not automatic 93 -- 5 Ex-In-Laws, and Other Extension Cords: Secret Five: The extended family is always with you 123 -- 6 Pleasure of Your Company...: Secret Six: Holidays and celebrations call for flexibility and creativity 150 -- 7 Dollars and Sense: Secret Seven: Get money issues out in the open as soon as possible 171 -- 8 Sensitive Issues and Bad Influences: Secret Eight: You have the right to set the rules for the way people live in your home 203 -- 9 A Death in the (Blended) Family: Secret Nine: A child who loses a parent needs special attention and understanding 232 -- 10 Can We Talk? Secret Ten: Make civility, respect, and compassion the touchstones of your communication 253.